Gold Diggers and Muses

First off, I am in no way implying women should only be interested in men for money. That’s wack!  I am, however, suggesting women might want to leave some men where they are until they have something of value and benefit to contribute to our lives beyond good sex. But by no means am I advocating for us to pass up a really good booty call either. If a woman chooses to engage with a man for the quality of his sexual gifts let her do so with conscious awareness and not with the intent to turn a penis into a husband.

I am elated to speak to this topic because people are weirded out behind conversations about sex let alone sex and money Guess what, though? They go together! It’s time for a shift. The Goddess of love whether you call her Oshun, Het Heru or Venus rules love, beauty, and… yep, you guessed it, money! The negative connotations attributed to “gold digger” are long overdue for amendment. Women proudly proclaim independence while shunning the idea of a man’s assistance for any of their needs.

I get it. Actualized women do not depend on anyone to provide all needs and fulfill all desires. We are autonomous and self sufficient. However, let these women who fiercely boast independence take several seats and stop fucking things up for those of us who know the magic behind men contributing to our lives. We can be strongly independent and openly accepting to male assistance; they are not mutually exclusive.


While we cannot quantify the role of women we can at least admit we are the muse of men. This reason alone makes us invaluable to their lives (in addition to obvious reasons like our feminine assets: Curves, breasts, Yoni). Those of us who know better stay cultivating our femininity with fierce beauty rituals always remembering that beauty, brains, and sexy is pure power, baby!

Women have been feared by men throughout history because the right lipstick worn by the right woman can make a man do things he had no idea he was capable of doing, simply.

The right woman positioned in the life of an ambitious man can be his entire reason for succeeding. Her devotion, the constant pouring into him with her words and brilliance, her unwavering faith and nurturing, good sex, touch, kisses and unconditional love are priceless! She is all the muse he needs to propel him into his greatest self. It’s the harmony that helps to sustain his ego and expand his heart.

The woman, whether by soft influence or sass and fire, the one who refuses to take any crap, the kind that can lead him to overcome his own demise, is the best gift of them all. There is no price. Her presence is invaluable and a man’s money is but a gesture, a symbol of his appreciation for her.

His money represents time and energy, an investment. It symbolizes his desire to pour into her, to make sure she is kept and always has what she desires. This serves him because she will always show up for him in ways he never even knew he needed. As the man in her life his job is to create heaven where she can sustain the magic she is always conjuring to be her best self, to look, smell, and taste good—all of the things he adores about her, the things that make him better. Certainly she can do it for herself but when he gives it, it is an offering to the altar that is she! He contributes to the process that allows her life to be her own. She is the embodiment of wisdom, his vision when he cannot see, his ears when he cannot hear. She reminds him to keep his heart open and pure.

I realize I am speaking to what some identify as a construct of masculinity and maleness, one that says men are protectors and providers at the service of humanity and her children. I agree with this construct. I agree that men are naturally much less in their hearts than women because of their inability to nurture life in their bodies and give birth. It just is what it is. There are always exceptions to the rule, but these are exceptions not the rule.


The material world is his playground and money is his tool. When he spends money he is invested, mind and attention, sometimes heart. This is not only true for men, it is true for us all at this point in time because as a society we value money over most anything else. People care about things they have to pay for because they care so much about their money. Energy flows where attention goes.

When we talk women, sex and money, we aren’t just talking sexual intercourse as sex. It’s much more than that, and is always happening. Sex is a ritual of giving and receiving.  Money is energy and a form of currency so, we are speaking to time and resources, benefits and abundance or in other words, attributes of value. A wise woman who knows her value and worth will not give of her time and essence for free because in the end, and the beginning for that matter,  she knows delusion serves no one—not her, her man, nor society. She’s upholding her royal status as co-creator in the circle of life daring to keep the natural order of humanity and nature. Men value what they work for and in what they invest. She vows to always be valued because the moment she isn’t all of life as we know it loses value. She can’t have that on her watch. Woman is nature and nature is life. This is why men must pay for the gift that is a woman’s nature.

Any questions?




Pueraria Mirifica – Natural Breast Enhancer

I was searching for a natural breast enhancer all of last year. I have naturally smaller breasts and after nursing my two children all hope was lost, saggy naggy! lol

Determined to find a natural solution (cuz I refuse to have surgery for a non emergency), I discovered a product called Pueraria Mirifica. It’s a plant based estrogen that not only enhances the boobs but also protects against breast cancer!!

For me it wasn’t about having larger than life breasts. I just desired vibrant, perky, full breasts! I swear by it, love it so much that I’ve decided to sell it. They don’t call me the BeautyKween for nothing!
Here are more benefits of this plant based estrogen
Thank me later!

Buy Pueraria Mirifica – Natural Breast Enhancer

‘An African City’: Africa’s Answer to Sex in the City

My goodness! I love this show! Everything about it is dope! First the women are every melanated woman: beautifully nappy, weave and wig wearing, straight haired totting, lock rocking African Queens with complexions from chocolate to cappuccino!

An African City is one of the best web series I’ve ever seen! I recently learned of the show inspired by the classic Sex in the City but sprinkled with the pixie dust of #blackgirlmagic, from a male friend. I was happy to check it out because I love Sex in the City so much! Well, this is almost better; the women look like me and my BFF’s!

The women are young, accomplished and native to both Ghana and Nigeria, once living abroad in the States and Europe, finally settling in the Mother Land.

These queens are a solid group of sister friends tackling everything from the struggles of being career women in Africa to safe but fulfilling sex.

The show started its second season last Sunday. It can be purchased here. Find season 1 on YouTube.

Enjoy all the deliciousness!

Thank me later!

The Gift of Yoni Juice

Yoni juices are said to grant man superpowers of enlightenment and spiritual awareness. He may not advance to the position of physical and spiritual perfection nor consider himself perfected or enlightened without ever indulging in the nectar of the yoni. Read and learn…

Kamil Zvelebil’s translation of a late medieval Tamil poem, the Kāmapānacāstiram (“ Treatise on the Arrow of Lust”):

“First Stage: Like a cow which licks tenderly its calf spread out your tongue broad and lick her yoni lapping up the juices oozing out like a thirsty dog which laps cool water.

Second Stage: Like a worshipper who circumambulates the shrine pass your tongue over her yoni round around from left to right, moving in ever narrowing circles till you reach the very center. Her yoni will open up like a dark and gaping chasm. Open then the vulva’s lips with firm pressure of your tongue and insert its stiff tip inside like a spear’s powerful thrust, digging, poking deep and far.

Third Stage: With your nose pressing against the yonimani [clitoris] your tongue enters her innermost shrine thrusting and digging and piking deep. searching for hidden treasures inside. Inhale deeply, breathing in the mellow odours of the juices of her yoni.

Fourth Stage: Taking the protruding, throbbing jewel of her yoni gently, gently between your teeth and tongue, suck it like a suckling feeding at the breast; it will rise and glisten, stand up from its sheath. It will swell like a large ruby. The fragrant copious discharge appearing like sweet foam between the lips of the vulva is a rejuvenating drink when mixed with your milk-white, lustrous, thick and fragrant sperm.”

White, David Gordon (2006-07-07). Kiss of the Yogini: “Tantric Sex” in its South Asian Contexts (Kindle Locations 2837-2869). University of Chicago Press. Kindle Edition.


“The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman”

Jada Pinkett is a Goddess! I know my tribe of humans and Jada is definitely one of them! This post are her words -poignant, powerful insight into the wound and plight of humanity..


“How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only. The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes.

I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the create of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize. He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children.

When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul.

Power and control will NEVER out weigh love.”

May we all find our way.
~Jada P

Why Chase When I’m the Catch?

There’s this blog I really love called Black Girls Are Easy. It gives me life because the author breaks shit down so simple and plain. He presents the mind of men to women in a way that is beyond dismissal. Yes, it’s true some men have actually evolved past the mindset of the basics and we are grateful all men do not show up this way but let me just take a moment to be in gratitude for this blog and its author for exposing basic dude mentality!


The blog also exposes a lack of self knowledge and self worth coupled with desperation we carry as a collective. Ladies, we have to get it together! We can no longer, in 2016, blame men for being sleazy and unfit. Men follow our lead! They do what we allow them to do. We’ve been mind fucked into thinking the opposite.

The truth is we never have to chase men and they know it. All heterosexual men, but especially basic minded, heterosexual men crave pussy. It is the closest thing to home for them and damn near everything they do is done with the goal of getting pussy. They are completely oblivious to the benefits of connecting with the heart of a woman. As a matter of fact they are terrified of it so they take all the right steps to play on our insecurities/innate desires to get what they want.


Most women want love, affection, protection, and to know we are safe with our men. It doesn’t do anything but serve us to admit many of us are emotionally underdeveloped and host a slew of insecurities, which show up as neediness, as well as a propensity to cling and attach. We need to handle that because it is not cute AND let’s look at the other end of this reality – women want and should be adored, cherished, and worshiped because after all we are what God is.

Women are mothers and mothers are first cause, first teacher, cultivator, life bearer, creatrix, nurturer, and so much more. Our babies know their fathers because we make the introduction. The very smell, touch, taste, and feel of us is healing. We’re soft, moist, firm, and sweet. We are the reason beauty exists and beauty is a gift. We should be worshiped not as the person that is us but the essence and power of that which we embody. Women represent life. We are nature. I wish we would remember.



Yesterday a friend of mine mentioned to me that his wife had become jealous of his relationship with his spiritual path because he stopped worshiping her and started putting that energy back into himself by way of his chosen walk. A light bulb immediately came on for me: Historically men discovered God through the worship of women. We have always been their connection to the divine because our ability to give life makes us a raw conduit of primal power and creativity.

Organized religion was created for men to access God directly without having to go through women. It was created because of fear and in some instances jealousy men held/hold of the innate power of women. The worst part about all of this is that women bought into it and agreed! We worship Gods created by men not Gods created in our wombs. We’re living in the aftermath of the fuckery today.

We are experiencing tremendous imbalance as a result of Goddess being out of place. Her throne has been stripped from her. She has been fed a potion of amnesia AND if she gets off of her knees she may recall she’s twenty feet tall (thanks Badu).


I love men and could not imagine a world without them so, this is in no way an attempt to slight the contribution men make to humanity. As the mother of humanity however, I must call a strike a strike. When my own son is acting up, no matter how much I love him, no matter how cute he is, I get in that ass with love.

Sisters, stop letting basic men run basic game on you! Stop chasing these basic dudes. Evoke the power that is you! Recall your worth! Stop asking him to define the relationship. Stop asking him where it is going and start showing him by the quality of your standards. Take your throne back and wear your crown!


“Straight Outta Love” – How Sacred Sex Can Heal Misogyny in Hip-Hop


The box office hit ‘Straight Outta Compton’ is a celebration of the pioneers of “reality rap” and pays homage to the genesis of gangsta rap. It is by far, one of the best biopics I have ever seen. I was inspired sitting in the theater watching the journey of super rap group N.W.A. being told from beginning to present. I was proud to know Ice Cube and Dre. Dre were the producers of their own story, which gave the movie the credibility most Black biopics lack. What I also found to be really cool was the creative and financial contribution of Eazy-E’s wife Tomica Wright. She was portrayed in the movie as a loving, positive force in Eazy’s life and a savvy business woman with his affairs. Ice Cube’s wife, Kim, was also included as an influential force helping him make hefty business decisions early in his solo career.

This was ultimately a good look for the veteran gangsta rappers and fierce misogynists. Yes, fierce misogynists! Let’s keep it all the way funky (real, 100, honest), N.W.A. did not only grandfather the gangsta rap movement, they ARE the reason urban music took on fiercely hateful expressions of women in music – hip-hop, rap, R&B alike. N.W.A. gave men permission to unapologetically disrespect women over funky bass lines and funky dope tracks! They are the reason why black men in particular have no love for hoes, never trust a bitch, just wanna fuck, are into having sex but never making love, never wife’s ‘em, only one night’s ‘em, and think these hoe’s ain’t loyal.


Hold up fellas, I’m not trying to cause any trouble here. I am just telling it like it is. Yes, I am using the hype and success of the movie to push an agenda but before you cast me off and away to the wind as a trouble making feminist (not a feminist btw) seeking another opportunity to throw black men under the bus, you might like where this is going so, stay with me.

See, it’s hard for many of you to allow yourselves to admit misogyny (hatred for women) is a big problem. The dirty, little secret within our community is not an imagined one in the minds of troublesome females who can’t find or keep a man. It is not an issue created in the circles of black lesbians and/or feminists who secretly hate black men and want to destroy them. Misogyny is very real. It is a bi-product of patriarchy (male centric/dominated society), which is the very reason many of you don’t experience it as real. As men, you’re used to being in the seat of privilege, primary, first.


Society was set up to serve you and your sense of entitlement. It’s similar to a white person living in the privilege of their whiteness as afforded to them by white supremacy. As soon as black people start speaking to experiences of racism, something Mr. White has no concept of because shit is set up to serve him and his whiteness, he sees blacks as troublemakers for trying to disrupt what he otherwise see’s as good and peaceful.

The same is true for you, black man, with much less grace and ease and a lot less peace. Nonetheless, patriarchy affords you certain privileges in society based on your maleness despite your blackness. When you understand this, you begin to at least hear the plight of women. When you start to listen with an open heart to the plight of women, you begin to connect to the healing we all need, because at the end of the day that is what this is about, healing.

Ladies, I’m mostly speaking to the men here but I’m not letting us off the hook. We shake our hips and asses to the bass lines of these songs and often know each and every rhyme, every time. We are guilty of the crimes we accuse the men of committing against us. We are misogynists, too! We cannot, with serious intent, hold men accountable without also holding ourseimageslves accountable for the crazy. Can we identify where our own hearts are also shut down? When did we turn our backs on ourselves and stop listening to our own needs and desires? When did we adopt hip-hop and its misogyny as the soundtrack to our lives?


Despite the misogyny, N.W.A. were on to something with all of their explicit portrayals of police beatings, drug dealings, street life and, well pussy. They were very explicit about sex! They talked about fucking and sucking in a way most at the time wouldn’t dare. It was an expression of their reality in a way that was more profound than they even understood. They were, like most people still are, sexually frustrated. I believe this to be the truth of their aggressive depictions. They celebrated their own sexcapades while shaming the women with which their experiences were shared. It’s as if they were saying, “I wanna fulfill my most kinky, nastiest fantasies with you. Here, take that” and then followed it up with, “You’re a nasty hoe, ass bitch for letting me have my way with you”. It’s called cognitive dissonance. It’s what plagues many of us, this deep desire to be in the nature that is us but acquiesce to being controlled by the programming that is society.

dadd01b8d7b83e3f5f20985573e9b3dbThe truth is both men and women want to connect with each other, deeply. We want sex, but most people are just fucking. We need sex; it’s how we all got here – passionate, sweaty, messy, liberated sex! We need heart connected sex and less heartless, disconnected sex. Sex is the way we communicate on a soul level. It’s the way we express all we cannot with words. Sex heals and innately we know this!

It’s actually the solution, in fact, to many of our problems. We’re all wounded and in need of healing from these deep wounds of self loathing. It all starts with the way we see ourselves. Religion has us thinking we are separate from divinity and desires of the flesh is unholy when in truth the opposite is so. We are all suffering because we refuse to acknowledge the divinity of the feminine. We have turned our backs on not only ourselves but the divine mother, the womb, the Yoni (vagina), life principle, and creative force. We can start to reverse this spell by practicing love on the deepest level for her, ourselves, and each other.

What we do not need is aggression and perversion within the context of sex. We need men to participate in zero shaming of women. We need women who are unapologetically sexually liberated. We need, as women, to understand men are men. They are not us. They connect to love through their penis. We need to become more relaxed into our sexual nature and allow ourselves to be the divine beings we are. We need to know sex is sacred and we can heal each other with it.


To learn more about Sacred Sex, sign up for my course ‘Intro to Sacred Sex II‘.